Tag: autism

Dating Someone who is Neurotypical while on an Autism Spectrum.

One of the most important things in life we are experiencing is finding Mr/Mrs. Right. Here is this question Do people on an autism spectrum date? And the answer is yes. People on an autism spectrum do date and eventually get married and have children, but I know it can be frustrating for some because we tend to get anxious, fear of rejection, etc.  I know many us have been in relationships in the past, but does not seem to work out how you for example, from a male/female having an affair outside the relationship to dealing with ones’ differences which results in breaking up/”calling it quits”.

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Recently I have watched the Netflix comedy series, Atypical about Sam Gardner, a high school senior, on an autism spectrum on a mission to find romance despite his parents’ (mainly his mother) chagrin and his sister’s humor. Throughout the season he has shown romantic interest of his therapist, Julia after she encourage Sam to start dating. Eventually, a girl named Paige (who is not an autism spectrum) shows interest in him which makes her his “practice girlfriend” and also become a couple during the autism friendly school dance in the season finale.  I would not think that this show deals with finding love on an autism spectrum disorder and Asperger’s syndrome.

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Here are the main criteria in dating:

  1. Typical questions people ask before dating and starting a relationship:”Will you go on date with me?” “Would you like to have coffee/tea sometime?”
  2. Typical sayings: “We should hang out sometimes.” “I will love to get more acquainted with you.”
  3. Getting to know you partner (similarities, interests/hobbies, hangout spots, etc.)
  4. “Are you ready for sex?”

Dating someone who is neurotypical have several difficulties in understanding acceptance of autism whether or not she/he are ready to commit a dating relationship without dealing with frustration and later learning about acceptance. Here is the link about where dating on an autism spectrum with a neurotypical person by Paddy-Joe Moran https://www.aspergerstestsite.com/1575/autism-relationships-part-autistic-people-neuro-typical-people/.

What to do as a person with autism dating someone who is neurotypical?

  1. Communicate with them
  2. Get them to understand you are on an autism spectrum
  3. Eye contact
  4. Be a good listener
  5. Acceptance by your partner

The most important thing in life is finding a soul mate along with marriage and start a family. Dating is tough especially when on an autism spectrum because we have the tendency to develop anxiousness, fear of rejection, and so forth. However, while dating who is neurotypical often get frustrated and later understand the fact about learning about autism spectrum/Asperger’s. I really think dating is learning experience for everyone whether if your partner is on a spectrum or not. I know we often get anxious when meeting another person to be your life partner. My advice is to be yourself without scaring your mate away and it is okay to be nervous at first when your partner talks about sex.

 

 

Just Bought a Camera from Amazon!

Good evening everyone, it has been a while since my last post and I apologize for leaving you guys hanging. I have been very busy due to work and personal reasons. Any how, I hope you all had a good 4th of July holiday last week. I will be starting a YouTube channel really soon about lifestyle about being on an autism spectrum disorder and other development disabilities. I will be targeting more in adolescents, young adults, and parents of children with autism spectrum disorder. I will also include places I have been in the Huntsville, Alabama area or surrounding areas, product reviews, natural hair, and so forth.

Any how, let’s talk about this camera which I have got from Amazon.com. 20170716_113942[1]

The cost of this camera was $89.00 before tax which I did not think it is a bad price especially if you are on a tight budget when it comes to purchasing cameras $150 or below. It comes in two colors silver and black. This camera is also budget friendly, but prices may vary depending on the color.

This camera is also good for vlogging and taking pictures anywhere you go.

What in the Box?

  • Digital camera
  • AC Adapter
  • USB Cable
  • Battery
  • User Instructional Manual
  • Wrist Strap

If you want to get this camera on a budget I will link the website where I purchase it along with the tripod I have just gotten today

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00I8BIBCW/ref=sr_1_1_twi_col_2?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1500256661&sr=1-1&keywords=digital%2Bcameras%2Bunder%2B100&th=1

https://www.amazon.com/AmazonBasics-50-Inch-Lightweight-Tripod-Bag/dp/B00XI87KV8/ref=sr_1_3?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1500256813&sr=1-3&keywords=camera+tripod

That concludes my somewhat “unboxing” post on the camera I have purchased from the Amazon website. I will provide a review on this camera along with the tripod I have purchased with amazon.com. Let me know once I start this channel on YouTube on what topic I should talk about first whether it is dating advice on an autism spectrum, my autism story, and so forth.

Once again I apologize for not blogging I missed you guys. Any how, talk to you guys soon.

Dating on an Autism Spectrum Part II: Marriage and Sex

Good afternoon everyone,

Today is the first day of July and I am moving on to the second half of dating on an autism spectrum where marriage, sex, and family planning take place. Unfortunately, this is the conclusion of the series of “Dating on an Autism Spectrum”. Any how,  I have a few questions for you guys, Do you want to take this relationship to the next level? Were you nervous about your first sexual experience whether or not your partner is on an autism spectrum?  Do you want children in the future and starting a family? Good, so that is what I am going to discuss about this topic. I will also provide question and answer based upon this topic almost at the closing of this discussion. I will be discussing three related topics dealing with long-term relationships which coordinate how to make it work.

Marriage:

Marriage is one of the happiest days we have experience in our lifetimes because we are madly in love with our chosen partners and we want to start a new chapter in our lives since moving out of our parent(s)’s house. However, as people (adolescent through adulthood) on an autism spectrum we are unsure if the marriage will last a long time for some of us due to social awkwardness and fear of commitment. Prior to marriage is dating and then engagement whether or not if the relationship is going to work out almost like in movies and fairy tales because we want to experience in starting a chapter in our lives since being single is not an option for us when dating through marriage is taken place in our lives. In the article by Certified Autism Specialist, Stephanie C. Holmes, MA, BCCC she talks about the 4 C’s in marriage on an autism spectrum: 1. Conflict Resolution, 2. Communication, 3. Conversation, and 4. Connection http://www.aacc.net/2017/03/16/marriage-on-the-autism-spectrum-he-saidshe-said-part-3/.

 

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Sex:

Sex is normal in many relationships whether it is dating, engagement, and marriage. People on an autism spectrum are skeptical about what the term “sex” is. It is okay to be nervous if this is your first sexual relations experience. I know only a few to many stay celibate, meaning staying abstinence until marriage. Without sex it could result into intimacy conflicts between two partners and other health related issues. Anxiety also takes place as well resulting in sexless marriages because we are concerned about how will sex feel if it is our first experience. Do not worry too much about, just “go with the flow”. It is normal for some of us to be nervous during our first sexual relationship whether you are on an autism spectrum or not. We all experience nervousness and awkwardness in our first sexual experience.

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Family Planning:

Family planning is a part of life with a dramatic change. Babies can change lives in people whether you come from a different environmental surroundings (stable homes and/or broken home). I would want to start a family eventually so I could be a better example for them without choosing the wrong direction in life. Any who, here are two questions for you, Can people on an autism spectrum have children? Or do you want to start a family? The answers are yes, you can have children and start a family just like everybody else. Whether or not if you have children on an autism spectrum, patience is always the key especially if your parent(s) raised you as children with autism.

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Although I do not have children of my own, here are a few things you will need to know to raise children whether or not they are on the autism spectrum 1. Patience, 2. Acknowledge, 3. Acceptance, and 4. Understand. Eventually, I will have children soon as long as the father is in the picture and also if wants children as well.

That is the end of this series of “Dating on an Autism Spectrum” hopefully these series will help you start a stable relationship whether you are on an autism spectrum or not. Always remember whoever you choose to be your life partner will understand your well-being and always be aware of yourself and your partner’s actions.

Autistic Pride Day!!

Sunday is usually product review day, but today I want to do something different instead just for you. Since the month of June is Pride Month meaning acceptance, guidance, and so forth by today’s society. Many of us have faced challenges where others tend to shame and/or judge us due to our differences whether you have a disability or the choice of sexual orientation other than heterosexual. There is also hate-crime and discrimination that has taken place in today’s society from harassment to abuse (physically, mentally, verbally).

In honor of Pride Month, June 18th is Autistic Pride Day and also Father’s Day. I want to share my four reasons why I want to support autistic pride day:

  1. I want to be accepted
  2. I want others to understand me
  3. I want to help others who are going through the same crises
  4. I want to end discrimination towards people with certain disabilities

As you all may know, I have high functioning autism and I would like to come around with others who are facing these obstacles whether it is hate crime and/or discrimination. Do anybody you know have these similar form of autism whether it is Asperger’s Syndrome or Pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) and still dealing with discrimination by your peers?

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Acceptance is always the #1 key in the autism world. People in today’s society are unaware that autism is not curable, but can be treated with speech and cognitive therapy. We all need to be aware in our surroundings when you see other victims with autism being discriminated due to his/her actions believing we are in trouble with society.

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Understanding is the #2 key in the autism world. People, nowadays, do not understand the challenges and obstacles we are facing in this society because we are consider “aliens” in their minds meaning we are being defeated by others by using these harsh words like “stupid”, “idiot”, and much worse “retarded”. The use of the “R” word by people who are not willing to understand and to be hateful. We are highly intelligent in an strange way and we also succeed in our successes without having to give up on our goals and achievements.

In closing, since June is pride month I decide I want to share my thoughts about the challenges we are facing in today’s society whether it is sexual orientation or any type of disabilities. Always remember accepting, understanding, supporting, and encouraging others not to discriminated because of his/her challenges. I want to end this with the quote by Amy Sequenzia, “Autism is life. I know. I live it every  day. And I am happy”.

Dating on an Autism Spectrum: Continuation of Part 1

Good evening everyone, today is Thursday and you know what that means it is Autism Thursday! This is the continuation of part 1 on dating on an autism spectrum. I forgot to mention the movies and documentaries examples where dating on an autism spectrum takes place. So I will be going over the movies and documentaries that deals with this topic.

Movies:

  1. Adam: Adam is a romantic drama released in the summer of 2009, directed by Max Mayer. The film takes place in Manhattan, New York about a young adult with Asperger’s Syndrome named, Adam Raki who lives alone in an apartment following the death of his father. Strangely enough a young school teacher and children’s book writer named, Beth Buchwald moved into the apartment above Adam’s and developed an awkward friendship. Adam, who is fascinated with space and galaxy surprised Beth by wearing his space suit while trying to impress her. Although the relationship between Beth and Adam slowly developed due to his autistic behaviors, they have manage to develop a stable boyfriend/girlfriend relationship like going on dates, socializing with Beth’s friends, talking about sexual relationship, etc. Sadly, the relationship did not last very long due to her father stating that Adam is not “dating material” which results in an argument between her and her father along with Adam accusing Beth of being a liar which results in the break up between the two. At the end of the film, Adam is in California working at the observatory with his interest in telescopes and he also receives a package from Beth of her first children’s book inspired by Adam about raccoons.

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2. Jane Wants a Boyfriend:  Jane Wants a Boyfriend is an indie, romantic comedy premiere in a 2015 film festival directed by William C. Sullivan. The film takes place in Queens, New York where Jane, a twenty-five year old woman with high functioning autism, who is in desperate need for a suitor for herself without the interference of Bianca, her older sister. Their parents want Jane to move in with Bianca and her fiance, Rob in Brooklyn since they are moving away from Queens. While attending a social gathering, Jane meets a chef named Jack, who seems to take interest into Jane despite her social awkwardness. Much to the dismay of Bianca, she forbids Jack from talking to Jane because she believes he only wants her for “sexual relationships”. Cynthia, Bianca’s friend, and Bianca sets Jane up for a date with Stephen, who has similar condition as Jane, which results in a disaster after he states that Cynthia did not tell him about Jane and becomes very upset about the statement along with Bianca going against her wishes. At the end of the film, Jane and Jack shared their first kiss after Bianca’s play and Bianca is happy for Jane to have a boyfriend like Jack.

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Documentaries:

  1. Autism in Love: Autism in Love, directed by Matt Fuller, takes a tale of four adults with autism in managing relationships. These four adults with autism: Dave and Lindsey, who have been dating for eight years and seeking in marriage despite the fact they are high functioning on an autism spectrum. Stephen, who has been married to his terminal ill wife, Gita for twenty years and later lost her battle to ovarian cancer leaving him a widower. Lenny, who struggles to accept in condition which results in anger stating that “he wish he was not autistic” and later in the film he was able to get  a job by working at the grocery store. These adults with autism had their trials and tribulation when it comes to starting relationship along with marriage.

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2. How to Dance in Ohio: How to Dance in Ohio, directed by Alexandra Shiva, takes the tales of adolescents and young adults with autism exercising in social and communication skills while in preparation of the spring formal. These young women, Marideth Bridges (spends the majority of her time at home on the computer), Jessica Sullivan (lives with her parents and works at a bakery), and Caroline McKenzie (a student attending community college and has a boyfriend) are all looking forward in attending the spring formal while dealing with other trials and tribulations. The filming took place in Columbus, Ohio and was premiere in the Sundance Festival in late 2015.

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And that concludes the second half of Part 1 about dating on an autism spectrum. There will be part 2 coming soon where I talk about marriage and starting a family on an autism spectrum. Make sure you share your opinions on the comment section below this post and let me know what you think about this series so far. And also, do not hesitate to give me any feedback and ask questions about this series. Be on the lookout for part 2 of this series and take care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dating on an Autism Spectrum Part I!

Good afternoon, everyone

Today is Thursday May 25, 2017 and I will be discussing on this topic that everyone on an autism spectrum who are desperate to move forward within their lives. Today’s topic is dating on an autism spectrum. I know there are many of others who are dating on an autism spectrum whether it is online and/or in person. There are some ups and downs about dating and starting a relationships on an autism spectrum meaning we are hesitant to hold a conversation, we are uneasy with unfamiliar aspects, and so forth. Below there are questions and answers about dating and advice to begin your dating journey.

Question #1. Do you believe in online dating websites or in person dating?

Answer: I believe more on in person dating than I do online dating website. The reason I prefer meeting someone in person is because I would have a better description whether he is well-educated, he has a good job, he does not have a bad background (in other words, has a criminal history, history of beating women, and so on), etc.

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Nowadays, online dating sites can be dangerous and the reason for that is “catfishing” which results in people getting hurt or worse because they lie about his/her appearance or going by pseudo names. So I would not use online dating sites while trying to find the right significant other for me. It is my only opinion upon whether I prefer online dating or in-person dating.

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Question #2. Are you currently in a relationship? If not, how are you enjoying your single life?

Answer: I am not currently in a relationship right now. As a single person, I am waiting for the right guy who understands me being autistic and/or have something in common whether if he is on a spectrum or similar interests.

Question #3. What can I do to ask a person out on a date while on an autism spectrum whether or not he/she is on a spectrum? 

Answer: It takes time to get to know a person and do not try to rush into a relationship until he/she ready to be committed. Or if he/she is not the right person for you, ask to just be friends.

This concludes the first half on dating on an autism spectrum and the second half of part 1 where I will be talking about examples from movies and documentaries that deal with dating on an autism spectrum. I hope this answer your questions about dating and starting a relationship while on an autism spectrum. Be on the look out for part on the series of relationships and marriages on an autism spectrum.

Autism Story

Hello everyone

Today is the last day of Autism Awareness Month and I want to close it with my autism story. I know it is kind of like a last-minute post before the beginning of May and the closing of April. Any who, I was inspired to post my autism story by watching videos of people with autism on YouTube and reading blogs about one’s autism story. So I want to share my story to you guys, here it goes.

As you all may know that I am a triplet (two girls and one boy). I was one of the triplets to be diagnosed with autism due to a bad reaction to the vaccinations during my infancy so my mother has taken me to a pediatrician wondering what is wrong with me. Once I have reached three years old, that is when the pediatrician diagnosed me for autism due to the early signs of development delays in my early childhood where I begin to flapping my arms, babbling, taking speech therapy appointments, and so forth.

The days when I was in elementary and junior high school were a roller coaster ride for me due to the bullying by some of my classmates because nobody understands the struggles with socializing with other children, being called names, and making true friends. Although I made good grades during my school days I would often get A’s and B’s on most school subjects and even in PE. In high school, I still struggle a little to socialize with other students because I get hesitated on what I have to say and would stutter when I get nervous speaking to people.

During my college days, I would often has reasonable accommodations when it comes to exam days to avoid distractions by things around my surrounding which resulting me in putting into room with minimum distractions. Although I made academic honor roll five semesters in a roll, I did not make dean’s list or president’s list because it was impossible for me to maintain above a 3.5 GPA. I even prove doubters wrong once I graduated from college last year due to me retaking classes which I did not pass and taking remedial classes during my freshman year.

That is part of my brief autism story and will get back into blogging as soon as possible. Now that I am 26 years old my future goals for my life are traveling, helping others with the struggles, and so on. Hope you all take the time to read this post and let me know what you think. In closing, I will post to you guys really soon!

 

Life Update: Where Have I Been?

Hello everyone,

It has been almost three weeks since my last post. I know you all are wondering where have I been these past weeks. Of course, life happened from being very busy outside of blogging to dealing with a cold that comes and goes. I want to let you all know that I am alright and nothing to worry about. I will eventually post my autism story this week since it is still the month of April. Any way, let’s begin my quick life update!

1st Update:

I have been very busy these past two weeks due to running personal errands and trying to look for graduate programs to further my education. I have also been applying for employment related to my field of study, but had an interview yesterday for one of the jobs I have applied for. I am still debating where I want to attend for graduate school either Vanderbilt or Stanford for private institutions and University of North Alabama or North Carolina for public institutions.

2nd Update:

I have been sick this past week due to seasonal allergies and sinus problems. I had this cold for about a week, but I feel better than I did this past week. I personally do not like to be sick because I would be force to take a break from doing the things I have wanting to do such as posting my blog and sharing this to you guys. Being sick really sucks ass, but luckily I am no longer dealing other health ailments.

So that concludes my life update and I hope you are all doing well and eventually I will share my autism story this week before the month is over. I am glad to be back and hope you all are wondering where I was since this last post!

Talk to you all soon

 

 

Autism Awareness Month Starts April 2!

Today is the day that March is coming to a close for this year. Tomorrow is April Fool’s Day and the following day is the beginning of Autism Awareness month! I know most of you all are aware that April is Autism Awareness month meaning understanding and acceptance for those who do not know our trials and tribulations we have been through since early childhood. This month I will be sharing my personal story on how I was diagnosed with autism, but my twin siblings who are not on the spectrum. I will also discuss how autism is defined, the early signs, the cause, and whether or not autism is curable or treatable.

What is Autism?

For starters, I would define autism as a developmental disorder/disability which impacts with the ability to socialize and communicate with other people around his/her surroundings. I have research various definitions on how the word “autism” is defined. These diagnosis can be categorized by the severity based upon his/her characterization (verbal or nonverbal communication).

What are the Early Signs?

Parents of children with autism should be aware of early signs which lead to the diagnosis. Here are a few listed below:

  • Not responding to one’s names once being called
  • Flapping of the arms
  • Delaying in development
  • Repeating behaviors
  • Speaking in single words between 24 and 36 months
  • Hurting oneself
  • Banging of head

What Causes Autism? And Is there a Cure? 

Some of us believe that the vaccinations are the cause of children to diagnose with autism such as MMR (Measles, Mumps, and Rubella), environmental factors, and genetics.  Therefore, it is still questionable about the cause of autism. There is no cure for autism, however, it can be treated by going to speech therapy, family doctors, early childhood counselors, etc. NOTE: I respect everyone’s opinions, but correct me if I am wrong. This is my honest opinion. ;).

In the month of April, I will be sharing my personal story about my diagnosis with autism and I want to hear everyone or somebody you know about the challenges you all have faced and the emotional roller coaster you all or somebody dealt with throughout early childhood until present.

Thank you all once again!

 

 

Why Does Rejections Always Happened in Life?

There is only one of the few things I do not take as a young adult with autism is rejection. Why does rejection always occur in our lives? Does that mean that were not good enough or do not meet the requirements? Everyday in our lives we are dealing with rejections from the thing we strive on. For example, 1. being rejected from a prestige college/universities, 2. being rejected from the jobs which you have applied for, 3. being rejected from asking a girl/guy out on dates, 4. being rejected for not making the team (cheerleading, soccer, tennis, etc.) and so forth. We cannot do anything about it, but this is life. I know many of us cannot handle rejections to well like others.

If you feel like you could not handle rejection that well, you are not alone. I have moments when I have when I could not handle them as well as others. I would get upset, angry, and jealous because I want something that I would have in my lifetime. I also fall into a state where I lost interest in becoming motivated to do things in life and even lost faith in Christ, but all this has increase my motivation by finding another job or school that would take me in because of my talents and accomplishments. Although rejection is part of life which we dealt, is it is not the end of the world.

Here are a few ways, which I have learned, to not take rejections to personally:

  1. Accept from It
  2. Learn from it
  3. Be proud of what you have succeed
  4. Find something which is similar to prior accomplishment
  5. Think of another plan if all fails
  6. Think about your other objectives

All I can say is we struggle to find ways to accept rejections and begin to strive what we can do in life whether is looking for employments, applying for college/universities, finding significant others to be in our lives forever, and even trying out for sports. Rejections happen in life, we cannot undo it. So my advice is do not take it like it is the end of the world, find a back up plan or even be proud of your successes.