Tag: advice

Dating on an Autism Spectrum Part II: Marriage and Sex

Good afternoon everyone,

Today is the first day of July and I am moving on to the second half of dating on an autism spectrum where marriage, sex, and family planning take place. Unfortunately, this is the conclusion of the series of “Dating on an Autism Spectrum”. Any how,  I have a few questions for you guys, Do you want to take this relationship to the next level? Were you nervous about your first sexual experience whether or not your partner is on an autism spectrum?  Do you want children in the future and starting a family? Good, so that is what I am going to discuss about this topic. I will also provide question and answer based upon this topic almost at the closing of this discussion. I will be discussing three related topics dealing with long-term relationships which coordinate how to make it work.

Marriage:

Marriage is one of the happiest days we have experience in our lifetimes because we are madly in love with our chosen partners and we want to start a new chapter in our lives since moving out of our parent(s)’s house. However, as people (adolescent through adulthood) on an autism spectrum we are unsure if the marriage will last a long time for some of us due to social awkwardness and fear of commitment. Prior to marriage is dating and then engagement whether or not if the relationship is going to work out almost like in movies and fairy tales because we want to experience in starting a chapter in our lives since being single is not an option for us when dating through marriage is taken place in our lives. In the article by Certified Autism Specialist, Stephanie C. Holmes, MA, BCCC she talks about the 4 C’s in marriage on an autism spectrum: 1. Conflict Resolution, 2. Communication, 3. Conversation, and 4. Connection http://www.aacc.net/2017/03/16/marriage-on-the-autism-spectrum-he-saidshe-said-part-3/.

 

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Sex:

Sex is normal in many relationships whether it is dating, engagement, and marriage. People on an autism spectrum are skeptical about what the term “sex” is. It is okay to be nervous if this is your first sexual relations experience. I know only a few to many stay celibate, meaning staying abstinence until marriage. Without sex it could result into intimacy conflicts between two partners and other health related issues. Anxiety also takes place as well resulting in sexless marriages because we are concerned about how will sex feel if it is our first experience. Do not worry too much about, just “go with the flow”. It is normal for some of us to be nervous during our first sexual relationship whether you are on an autism spectrum or not. We all experience nervousness and awkwardness in our first sexual experience.

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Family Planning:

Family planning is a part of life with a dramatic change. Babies can change lives in people whether you come from a different environmental surroundings (stable homes and/or broken home). I would want to start a family eventually so I could be a better example for them without choosing the wrong direction in life. Any who, here are two questions for you, Can people on an autism spectrum have children? Or do you want to start a family? The answers are yes, you can have children and start a family just like everybody else. Whether or not if you have children on an autism spectrum, patience is always the key especially if your parent(s) raised you as children with autism.

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Although I do not have children of my own, here are a few things you will need to know to raise children whether or not they are on the autism spectrum 1. Patience, 2. Acknowledge, 3. Acceptance, and 4. Understand. Eventually, I will have children soon as long as the father is in the picture and also if wants children as well.

That is the end of this series of “Dating on an Autism Spectrum” hopefully these series will help you start a stable relationship whether you are on an autism spectrum or not. Always remember whoever you choose to be your life partner will understand your well-being and always be aware of yourself and your partner’s actions.

Dating on an Autism Spectrum Part I!

Good afternoon, everyone

Today is Thursday May 25, 2017 and I will be discussing on this topic that everyone on an autism spectrum who are desperate to move forward within their lives. Today’s topic is dating on an autism spectrum. I know there are many of others who are dating on an autism spectrum whether it is online and/or in person. There are some ups and downs about dating and starting a relationships on an autism spectrum meaning we are hesitant to hold a conversation, we are uneasy with unfamiliar aspects, and so forth. Below there are questions and answers about dating and advice to begin your dating journey.

Question #1. Do you believe in online dating websites or in person dating?

Answer: I believe more on in person dating than I do online dating website. The reason I prefer meeting someone in person is because I would have a better description whether he is well-educated, he has a good job, he does not have a bad background (in other words, has a criminal history, history of beating women, and so on), etc.

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Nowadays, online dating sites can be dangerous and the reason for that is “catfishing” which results in people getting hurt or worse because they lie about his/her appearance or going by pseudo names. So I would not use online dating sites while trying to find the right significant other for me. It is my only opinion upon whether I prefer online dating or in-person dating.

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Question #2. Are you currently in a relationship? If not, how are you enjoying your single life?

Answer: I am not currently in a relationship right now. As a single person, I am waiting for the right guy who understands me being autistic and/or have something in common whether if he is on a spectrum or similar interests.

Question #3. What can I do to ask a person out on a date while on an autism spectrum whether or not he/she is on a spectrum? 

Answer: It takes time to get to know a person and do not try to rush into a relationship until he/she ready to be committed. Or if he/she is not the right person for you, ask to just be friends.

This concludes the first half on dating on an autism spectrum and the second half of part 1 where I will be talking about examples from movies and documentaries that deal with dating on an autism spectrum. I hope this answer your questions about dating and starting a relationship while on an autism spectrum. Be on the look out for part on the series of relationships and marriages on an autism spectrum.